lunes, 30 de enero de 2017

Digimon Abridged Ep5: Cutreramon (ENGLISH)

*Friendzone Dubs*
MERAMON: Stop singing about Moonmon!
BENDERMON: The next video is a nonprofit and fanmade parody. Digimon is propiety of Akiyoshi Hongo, Toei Animation and Bandai. Please, support the official release AND A MASK FOR ME!
NARRATOR: Previously, on Digimon Abridged…
Are you still watching this show? Seriously? Don’t you have enough incest and penis jokes? I mean, last episode was creepy. High Octane Nightmare Fuel, bro. Even with a firing exhibitionist controlled by a dark wheel, the most horrifying part was the parrot and her girlfriend. I’m going to puke…
Episode 5: Cutreramon*
*Cutrerama is a Futurama parody by the channel that voices Bendermon.
MIMI: Even my hat hurts.
TK: Take a break, please.
MATT: I’m surprised with you enduring so little.
SORA: Poor guys, it’s a shame seeing them rolling in the floor.
TAI: The strange part is that Joe hasn’t complained yet.
TENTOMON: But Izzy, you already know your laptop doesn’t have battery.
IZZY: Yet, a man can dream…
TAI: Do you have porno? C’mon, butts and boobies!
IZZY: Leave my waifu alone!
TAI: Doesn’t it have a motion sensor?
SORA: No Tai, not everything works like your penis, phallocentric jerk!
TAI: What is a phalocentric? And what about that?
AGUMON: I’m going with you, Taichi?
JOE: Taichi?
MATT: Tit for tat.
IZZY: The battery is so low…
TAI: People, come here!
JOE: It looks like a factory.
TAI: It may be of chocolate, let’s go!
TK: What is that, Matt?
MATT: You aren’t prepared to use it yet.
JOE: Okay, okay, okay, who is crazy now? How can a factory exist if there aren’t humans around?
TAI: What a relief, Joe hasn’t complained in so much time that I thought he was possessed.
SORA: What happens, Biyo?
BIYOMON: Hear with attention.
AGUMON: Look at that!
TAI: A robot!
GOMAMON: It’s Bendermon.
TAI; Do you know it?
AGUMON: Yes, he’s a cool guy. We used to play with the Pokemon Tazos. Do you remember them? Such wonderful times!
BIYOMON: What’s more, he’s stronger than our evolutions.
JOE: Are you sure he’s one of us?
SORA: Like Meramon and Seadramon?
TAI: Cool!
JOE: No!
*Joe helps them*
JOE: I only help you not to feel displaced!
*Tai hums and falls over a lever*
AGUMON: Bendermon, wake up!
TAI: I’m going to hit it! I’M GOING TO HIT IT!
JOE: No!
*Bendermon wakes up*
JOE: Very bad, Agumon, sit, sit!
SORA: It looks like he has opened the eyes.
BENDERMON: What are you doing in my shack?
TAI: Attack, Canary!
BIYOMON: Hey, I’m not islander!
JOE: Didn’t you say he was cool?
GOMAMON: Look Joe, everything has been upside down since you appeared. So don’t ask for explanations when you are the cause of my misfortune, damn parasite!
TAI: Agumon, what if you evolve into a robot?
AGUMON: I have something better.
TAI: Well thought, we are unstoppable with your brain and my ability to breathing fire!
*From now on, there will be filters so YouTube doesn’t globally block it*
MIMI: I don’t know what those are, but I don’t have any of those in my purse.
IZZY: I found a door.
TENTOMON: Finally, you have been searching for half an hour.
*They examine the room*
TENTOMON: What language is this?
IZZY: I don’t know, it looks Murcian*.
*Spaniard equivalent to a Canadian joke.
TAI: Oh, dear me!
JOE: We’re lost!
TAI: Silence, he may miss us!
BENDERMON: I may be blind, but this blind blind blind… actually sees.
TENTOMON: I don’t know, Izzy. Your apples* have caused the blackout.
*He misspelled “manazas” (ham-hands) with “manzanas”.
IZZY: I’m sorry.
TENTOMON: Try to redraw the character.
OZZY: Good idea!
MIMI: The light has returned.
MATT: We can continue walking on a straight line.
TENTOMON: Izzy, spontaneous combustion, I’m dying, turn off the computer!
IZZY: Changing the topic, where could the rest be? I hope they don’t leave me alone.
TAI: One-two-three-four, one-two-three-four!...
BENDERMON: Aha, you are there! Dildo-hand!
*Matt screams in pain. Matt screams in pleasure.*
TAI: You might be a level superior to our evolutions.
*Tai gets into the crane*
TAI: But my plot armor is even more superior.
IZZY: Come here guys, I discovered something great!
MATT: I hope it’s not about your fucking Maincras*.
*Minecraft purposely bad spelled.
IZZY: No idiot, this is serious, there is a program that constantly creates energy!
*Bendermon approaches*
IZZY: The factory feeds itself with that and never stops. It’s a cyclic system that never ends, like eating your own shit.
MATT: What a disgusting example.
TAI: Run, we’re pursued by another unnecessary Terminator sequel!
BENDERMON: I bet you didn’t see that coming, meat pieces!
*He tracks the humans*
BENDERMON: You’re going to suck my explosive nipples!
TK: Oh no, I forgot not being stupid!
MATT: Hold on!
GARRULOMON: Of course, since you don’t have to fight!
GREYMON: Suck that, missile in the shape of… a head.
BENDERMON: Aren’t those Cubonemon and Garrulomon?
TAI: That’s funny, we thought exactly the same names.
MATT: Yes, what a coincidence.
BENDERMON: Guys, guys, don’t get mad at me. You would also be angry with a gear in the leg. Dildo-hand!
GARRULOMON: Why are you repeating the same attack animation?
BENDERMON: You must recycle, cunt!
GREYMON: Recycle me this!
GARRULOMON: That was from three episodes ago.
BENDERMON: You aren’t that badass now, right?
MATT: He’s kicking their asses, we’re fucked.
SORA: It’s because none of the attacks penetrates his armor!
TAI: Haha, penetrates.
TENTOMON: Hey Izzy, the episode should be finished in a while. Do I evolve now or I wait so their asses are kicked a bit more?
IZZY: I’m going to google how to evolve you. I’m sure some latino will have a video-tutorial explaining it. If they worked as hard the dubs…
KYUBEY: Wey, I’ve been following this series for five episodes and I wasn’t offended by all those jokes about incest, pedophilia, homosexuals, Spaniards, ADD gamers and JK Simmons. But a joke about latinos with no context? That’s too much, I’m going to unsubscribe and leave a dislike. You got too smartass, cunt.
TENTOMON: Oh yes, Tentomon is going to evolve, every man and woman should wet their panties.
KABUTERIMON: We aren’t even going to change the voice-actor for this one.
BENDERMON: I’m beating the hell out of your friends, why do you think the young grasshopper will defeat me?
TAI: A cockroach?
MIMI: Nasty!
SORA: Can I keep it?
KABUTERIMON: I surrender, let the salad fight!
JOE: He’s a bit broken, without weak points.
IZZY: He must have, his weak spot should be… overwarming his nipples!
KABUTERIMON: Just let me take that little wheel.
SORA: Another sick wheel!
BENDERMON: I’m… free! Sorry Fry, I didn’t want to hurt you!
TAI: It’s Tai, not Fry!
BENDERMON: To get out from here, go to where I’m pointing with my Uboa shoulder.
TAI: I didn’t notice that!
MIMI: Super feminine jump of Mimi!
TAI: Mimi, you’re always doing stupid stuff.
TK: Hey Izzy, did you hack Tentomon to evolve it? Could you try to hack Shitsmon?
IZZY: Of course not, or I would hack myself to have more subscribers.
SHITSMON: Is Shitsmon already my official name?
TAI: It was that or Potatomon.
IZZY: Damn, it doesn’t work anymore.
TENTOMON: We should return to the giant battery so everyone can evolve and continuing gets easier.
TAI: Fuck that, a single evolution each episode!
AGUMON: And what will happen when everyone have evolved?
SORA: Then, the series can end, this won’t last forever, right?

TAI: Unless a sequel is made 15 years later.

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