WARNING: To properly understand this episode, you should watch the Retropokon first year anniversary. Link in the description.
*On March 2016, I uploaded plenty of short reviews about bizarre movies. This was supposed to be one of those.
Aitor Molina (AM): “Egun on guztioi”*, Aitor Molina talking to you!
*”Hello everybody” in Basque, the regular introduction on AMvs.
Nostalgia Skapokon (NS): Hi, I’m Skapokon and this is Retropokon, your gaming time machine!
NS: The John Show is a series created by John DiMicco…
AM: Well, “created”… John drew himself on Paint and the rest of characters are vague stereotypes or stolen from other media which also are montages or YouTubePoop.
NS: We already explained with detail what The John Show did wrong in the first year anniversary special of my program and Aitor Molina’s video “How to fix The John Show”. When John saw them, not only he didn’t offend, but he planned a remake.
AM: We liked a lot the idea. After all, applying the constructive criticism demonstrates maturity and interest on making something good. Almost everything I do part from recycled and depurated ideas until they solidify on something that I like, as Bizarre March.
NS: The first remake (John’s Monster) wasn’t entirely bad. It was still flawed… and had stolen characters… But at least, he learnt to improve his storytelling skills.
AM: The episode we are going to analyze today is the sixth, “Bizarro!!”, the longest and most unbearable. It already had a re-edition by Agito the lawler.
NS: The plot is about John and his friends being kidnapped by bizarre versions of themselves. In the end, Weegee saves them.
AM: Or Agito, it depends on the continent you are watching. It’s picking your poison. Weege is a Deus Ex Machina for appearing out of nowhere to save the day and Agito qualifies as a Gary Stu, an avatar of the author without flaws… Unless, you count his own moveset.
NS: If this story sounds familiar to you is because plagiarizes an episode of the YTP series “The Link and King Show”, which tributes “Bizzaro”, a “Sealab 2021” episode, parody of the Hannah-Barbera cartoon “Sealab 2020”.
AM: The first act is practically the same that the original, a supposedly creative torture-porn.
NS: With the plus of taking some jokes from my review!
AM: Or putting the Retropokon cast and Doctor Pandemia in the opening like they were recurring characters. The biggest problem with these remakes is that you have to watch too many things to understand them. We aren’t talking about little easter eggs to laugh about previous mistakes or things that didn’t age well.
NS: First of all, the original series seems to be canon. Remakes are supposed to improve mistakes or introduce something to a new generation. If you have to watch the original versions to understand the remake, both goals fail miserably!
AM: The problem isn’t linking with previous works of John himself, which also does. It’s taken as the spiritual successor of too many YTP series!
NS: Like “Guards N’ Retards”, “Link and King Show”, “The Frollo Show” and Achille’s videos.
AM: If the original had Weegee, this one has…
*John Snack, a John Cena reference, “cena” means “lunch” in Spanish
AM: No, of course they have Weegee again. Because they have to make more references until the new material starts after ten minutes.
NS: And with “new material”, we say RPG battles. Even the John’s Monster remake was repetitive enough having, not one, but two RPG battles. They aren’t even interesting fights! Fake RPGs are funny when they have creative attacks and you see how the characters fight. But here, the attacks DON’T reference anything and we don’t see how they fight.
JUAN MERIENDA (with “About The New” transition)
AM: At least, they aren’t using canned laughs. When the episode was supposed to end, we only get to the half! More bizarros appear.
NS: And they travel to space, where it seems we have gone from The John Show to Mega Man X. Actually, this scene links with another John story called “Saving Cosmo”, which is basically Mega Man X with Shipping.
AM: “Saving Cosmo” doesn’t even exist as a game, neither as a video. It’s something completely taken from John’s Wikia. Because if there is a Wikia, it doesn’t need to exist out of the Wikia! Why should you put an effort of making something if you can just pretend it exists?
(I haven’t found the Wikia, but I was supposed to understand what the reference meant!)
NS: In this moment, we see Weegee’s backstory, which steals scenes from Achille’s videos.
AM: My biggest complain with John DiMicco is how little effort he puts on his creations. This scene could be funny if instead of showing another series as a flashback, he would have parodied it with his own characters. Johnstein and Robo are stereotypes over he didn’t even try to elaborate. If he worked JUST a bit harder drawing new characters instead of cropping, he would eventually make more substantial and unique things!
DETECTIVE ENIGMA: It doesn’t have any consistency! It’s sometimes The John Show, then Saving Cosmo. How does he pretend us to get all those references and cameos WITHOUT ANY CONTEXT?
NS: We skip to an overly long scene that explains Bizarro John’s origin, a shape-shifting terminator who is also The King from the previous episode.
AM: I actually like the idea of having continuity between episodes, even if it doesn’t make any sense. It would be an interesting twist for the Season Finale having all the villains as the same character changing forms.
NS: It would be if Chincherrinas already hadn’t done it with Ronald McDonalds.
AM: Both Weegee’s backstory and the exposition scene can be summarized as him being the chosen one. John saves himself from being a Gary Stu giving that role to Weegee, which means he falls into the cliché indirectly. But the chosen one ONLY works as a trope when a prophecy supports it, which they skipped!
NS: They don’t skip it. It’s available in the expanded version of the Wikia.
AM: *Laughs in Spanish*
NS: After another RPG with Dragon Ball elements, Weegee destroys the world with the Falcon Punch meme that hasn’t been funny since 2006. When the planet gets erased, we see some random cameos contemplating the explosion.
SIR POKON: Including this humble servant.
STEVEN STAR: Haha, there goes my only contribution outside the Wikia!
AM: Continuity muscles! Oh, look, it’s John DiMicco! Do you remember the show was supposed to be about him? He had to steal Weegee’s prominence in the last moment trough a letter that names John the new chosen one.
NS: And do you remember that hateful bookend joke with the pregnant girl in the original version? They managed to make it worse!
*The scene plays with Spanish subtitles and About The New credits*
LAYSI DA SUISA: I can’t believe how can you hurt that poor little piggy, it did nothing wrong!
NS: In conclusion, the Bizarro remake is AS bad as the original or maybe even worse.
AM: It’s a great example of how more doesn’t equal better. Every mistake of the original is still relevant, from the unnecessary cameos to the plagiarized scenes. The new characters add nothing, the Continuity Nod is confusing and the episode just takes itself too seriously with the chosen one and the flashbacks.
NS: The John Show fits way better as an animated regular show with a couple of fantastic elements, focusing in the humor. This episode does exactly the opposite, an almost science-fiction story with action and drama. That can’t work with such a surreal and disastrous plot.
AM: If he wanted to make a Weege and Achille tribute, it would work better as an independent video like plenty of fans do not to shit in the reputation of their personal works. It’s like if Smash Bros Lawl, Lawl Nova and Lawl of the Dead were part of The Frollo Show, Retropokon and Aitor Molina Vs. You just can’t mix them!
NS: Definitely, this remake proves a Bizarro story is condemned no matter how many tributes and parodies it has.
AM: Not counting the Retropokon anniversary special.
NS: Thank you for inviting me to your show!
AM: Wait, there is a post-credit scene!
NS: No, no, there isn’t, it’s just another… random clip.
AM: What are you doing on John Show?
NS: That’s not me. It’s just a freaking random clip that doesn’t link with anything!
NS: If you talk about my doppelganger, I make canon that…
There goes my only contribution outside the Wikia!