viernes, 30 de octubre de 2015

The Fantasia Revenge ENGLISH

This animated-review hybrid Halloween special is Friendzone Team and FlashEstudio's contribution for the 2015 edition of Red Ribbon Reviewers

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2014 submission: AMvs Música Catastrófica (only in Spanish)
2013 submission: AMvs Hateful Comparisons - Vete a la versh vs. Telegordo (ENGLISH translation)

NOTE: The sketches aren’t translated because some of the authors will release extended versions of them. You can perfectly skip them if you want.
*Pixar logo parody*
Since 2010, there has been tried to make an animated collaboration every year in October. Most of them were called “The Halloween Revenge”, followed by their respective number.
The 2014 Halloween project became so ambitious that broke the tradition in favor of making animated specials when there were ideas instead of just festivities.
Pandemia’s Castle – Huronia, Pandemic Continent
*Pandemia laughing while we zoom into his castle*
PANDEMIA: Finally, FINALLY! My definitive creation! Dear world, I present to you… the invisible butler!
INVISIBLE BUTLER: Good evening, how are you? Fine? Okay then.
PANDEMIA: Glorious, glorious… It’s way better than that nazi without face I created last time.
IB: I have been created by you to serve! Which will be my name?
PANDEMIA: I didn’t think on that. How do we name him, Brodimert?
BRODIMERT: As long as it isn’t such a ridiculous name like Brodimert…
PANDEMIA: Oh, I have one! You’re name is Aberlardo, do you like it?
IB: Abelardo? Perfect…
PANDEMIA: Perfect then. For now, I will create my own friends and if they try to trick me… Catapum! I bought a catapult in case that happens.
BRODIMERT: And what are you going to do now?
PANDEMIA: First of all, ruin Halloween, as always should happen. I have been a bit busy with The Dreamscape Kingdom*. So we will center in just a single enemy and ignore the rest.
*In-universe, it refers to the event. For the viewers, the other movie
BRODIMERT: Are you going to catapult someone?
PANDEMIA: Not yet, but I have something worse in mind… A paper from the Town Hall! *Thunder* Every year, the *thunder* council organizes a classical music concert. This year I have to do it, but since I don’t give a kidney about that, I will fake the document so it’s the responsibility of someone who looks like me. Someone… without glasses.
BRODIMERT: I think the plan is too simple, but we could keep him busy while we work in bigger things.
PANDEMIA: That’s right, Brodimert! Abelardo, send this to Mr. Molina. You will see, we are going to laugh at loud.
AITOR MOLINA: Time to work in The Dreamscape Kingdom! *reads a message* Oh, shame, mishap, setback, oh, goodness, a sidequest… I will delay it… three more years.
*4:16 to skip the credits*
AM: Egun on guztioi*, Aitor Molina talking to you! Welcome to the… obligatory… Fantasia review, the film produced by Walt Disney on 1940. Why this instead of a more typical concert? Very easy, the intention of this movie is adding traditional animation to classic music. That way, they didn’t pay for author’s right… or in this case… Aitor’s rights!
*”Hello everybody” in Basque, trademark salute
*A chair coughs*
This film is considered one of the best on animation history. It’s completely timeless for letting both musicians and animators to interpret. It fuses two apparently distant arts. This time, I wanted to take the genre-busting a step further adding a third subject: reviews. Each year, plenty of rat-kids* and fools take a camera to imitate their Internet idols trying to get easy attention without effort or emotion. To encourage creativity, I managed to contact with seven filmmakers of different ambits. Some of them are new, others already known**. This collaborative project has been my grain of sand to making them doing an experimental video. If it works, we will probably see more of them in the future.
*Rat-kid: ADD gamer, immature kid at a computer
**Already known in my little community
AM: This way, I don’t have to analyze the full movie. Let’s start with Johann Sebastian Bach’s “Toccata and Fugue”, commented by Workscanal. Instead of a traditional review, he opted to improvise a reflection the same way this piece serves as immersion in the musical world. Applaud!
*9:54 to skip*
AM: *Snores*
GANCHITO: Pss… Pss… Aitor… Aitor… Wake up… Wake up…
AM: Karlova, why did you leave me? Hey, I couldn’t sleep well last night. Let’s see the next piece, “Nutcracker Suite” by Pyotr… Ilyich… Tchaikovsky… reviewed by Pol… Domenench… Domenench?
*21:00 to skip*
AM: *Yawn* Are you still there? Woah, you surpassed my expectations.
SIR POKON: Again! Again!
AM: Sorry, but we must continue until the final or I go to jail for crime-electoral. He he, that was a rhyme! You will like the next, the most famous of the movie, “The Sorcerer's Apprentice” by Paul Dukas. No, we aren’t talking about Nicolas Cage’s film.
GANCHITO: *Laments*
AM: It will be reviewed by… recently taken from his Rincon*… LonkPlays! Applause!
*His show is called “El Rincón de LonkPlays”
AM: Assure that guy doesn’t get too excited…
*23:18 to skip*
REDDY: Uhm, sorry for being late! There has been a problem on Dimension 436. You know, kyavobes, everywhere!  You are making a Fantasia tribute here, no? Glad I came for “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice”!
AM: Reddy, it’s over. We just finished it, buddy.
REDDY: Oh, great, I practiced my Mickey Mouse voice for nothing… Then, fuck you! Ho-ho!
BRODIMERT: They are halfway through, it isn’t as bad as I expected.
PANDEMIA: Wouldn’t be sad if someone broke their concert?
BRODIMERT: Are you going to intercede?
PANDEMIA: Not me, but we are going to send someone… to do something… Do you see our butler around?
PANDEMIA: Because it’s invisible… like a ninja assassin… And that’s precisely what we are going to…
BRODIMERT: Chhst, it’s starting!
*31:16 to skip*
GANCHITO: Aitor, Aitor, we have a problem! The applauding machine has exploded!
AM: Ok, then, let’s try to repair it while the musicians practice.
AM: Catch this side, I will pick the other…
GANCHITO: This side?
AM: Yes, that side, that. Be careful with my hand… OUCH!
GANCHITO: Sorry, sorry!
AM: It was nothing, I’m cool, *inspires* careful, at the count of three…
GANCHITO: Ok, fine, relax. Are you okay?
AM: Yes, yes, don’t worry. Just count to three. One… two…
GANCHITO: And three!
AM: No, no, when I say three. OK?
GANCHITO: And three!
AM: When I say three, we pick up thee.
GANCHITO: He he, that rhymed.
AM: Forget about the rhymes.
GANCHITO: Let’s do this!
AM: One… two…
BOTH: And three!
AM: Okay, perfect, perfect, maintain it up! Agh, just a bit, Ganchito.
GANCHITO: I can’t rise it alone, remember that I’m quadruped!
AM: But cats always fall on their feet, maintain it up just a bit, just a moment, just a moment!
GANCHITO: It’s really heavy…
AM: It’s almost, Ganchito, almost there! Look, look, I have a screw!
GANCHITO: C’mon!!!!
AM: It’s over, it’s over. You can put it down, don’t worry. I’m tired!
GANCHITO: I’m also tired.
*Musicians laugh*
GANCHITO: Don’t laugh at us!
AM: Ok, we couldn’t repair the applauding machine, so we built another thing!
KEYGEN: Hi, my name is Keygen… KE-Y-GEN
GANCHITO: Ha ha ha, it speaks like when you call a telephone company and an outsider operator woman answers you.
AM: Ganchito, don’t discriminate! There are also operator men!
GANCHITO: On this scene, the orchestra director becomes crazy and starts talking with the Soundtrack.
AM: Or flirting with it, he is enjoying it too much.
*The director laughs too much*
AM: I can see you are naughty. Play the trumpet again.
AM: You do it so nicely… Tell me, do you like dubstep?
KEYGEN: Keygen is excited, Keygen wants to fornicate.
GANCHITO: Okay, but you pay the dinner.
AM: “The Pastoral Symphony” by Ludwig van Beethoven, plese!
*42:08 to skip*
SIR POKON: Bravo, bravo, magnificent!
WAI: I’m sorry, Sir Pokon. But you are making too much noise. We have to take you to the exit.
SIR POKON: Don’t you have anything better to do, gentlemen?
LEMON EMON: Like what? Starring in my own videogame? *Laughs* that day will never come.
SIR POKON: If those are the rules, I’m going. But I will be back as soon as I buy this establishment.
AM: Interesting, now I’m really alone. I would escape, but it’s not well to leave a review halfway. Right now, “Dance of the Hours” by Amilcare Ponchielli reviewed by, wait a second, Guille the King, coma, suck this Jaime Ruiz. What?
-You can’t skip Guille
*Ok, you can, 43:21*
AM: Amazing, no contest, I can’t stand this anymore. Ganchito, the last piece is your responsibility, okay?
*The lights go out*
AM: Ganchito?
?: It’s wrong to leave a review halfway.
AM: Who said that?
?: That doesn’t matter. If you don’t finish your work, I will tell to the council and go to jail automatically. Return to the stage and bookend what you started for your own good.
AM: The last two pieces complement themselves, “Night on Bald Mountain” by Modest Mussorgsky and “Ave Maria” by Franz Schubert, both reviewed by the veteran Annoying Critic.
*45:58 to skip*
?: *Maniac laugh* A little help…
AM: Oh, I remember you, wait a second…
MAIDEN RIKU: Sorry, but we don’t accept in this party any hedgehog, recolor or fancharacter. Only original characters.
RAKZOL: Aha, I’m Rakzol the Killer.
MR: That’s another reason, why would we let a killer? Get out!
RAKZOL: And I came to kill you!
AM: Ok, just sent to the police. I told I am a woman, because they will only come if we say is genre violence.
RAKZOL: Genre violence… *ninja sounds* and number violence.
R2: Good one, Rakzol.
R1: Thanks, Rakzol!
AM: You speak just like those repressed teenager jerks who end all their phrases with emojis to give credibility and weight to what they say.
R1: *Cries*
R2: Well, look what you have done, you made Rakzol cry.
R1: Why is it so difficult to have friends and personality at the same time?
R3: Don’t cry, Rakzol, you have us.
AM: That’s right, Rakzol, let’s finish our job!
*A Rakzol clone is tied and disguised as AM*
R1: Great idea, Fat Rakzol!
AM: Why Fat Rakzol?
R1: Time to finish this… RAKZOL’S PUNCH!
*A very long punch*
R1: Aha, I’m a ninja. *laugh loop*
R2: I knew it, how could I possibly be so blind! Rakzol was always a disguised log!
R3: Are you saying that Rakzol wasn’t real?
R4: Boys, you are scaring me!
AM: I… Am I real?
R1: Why do we exist?
R2: Who made us?
R3: Is the universe infinite?
R4: Why do frontiers exist?
AM: Is there an afterlife?
R1: Which will be the last Simpsons season?
*They throw the log to AM*
R1: Did you think it was that easy to leave?
*The log becomes Rakzol*
R1: RAKZOL! You will pay for this, dross! Wait for it… a bit… I’m focusing energy… now, now, is going… just wait a… *Goofy scream*
R3/4/AM: He has disguised again!
R2: This is getting bad. I will analyze you with my pinkeye. AUGH
R3: Agh, it’s disgusting!
R2: You can’t outsmart me, I’m a ninJa!
*A clone becomes a log*
R2: Aha, that was the fake one! Oh no, I didn’t learn yet the technique to stop the pinkeye!
R3: Rakzol!
*The eye twitches*
R3: It seems we just found the original Rakzol…
AM: You!
*Hammer Smith laughs*
RAKZOL: Okay, well played, you win this time. But please, don’t tell Pandemia I failed the mission! Or else…
AM: Or else what?
AM: It seems we finished for today.
GANCHITO: Aren’t you going to conclude the review, Aitor?
AM: How to conclude? The movie doesn’t even have an ending!  After “Ave Maria”, the musicians go without saying nothing like fucking bosses. Since I defeated a ninja assassin, I think I deserve a fucking boss moment too. So my job has been finished here!
GANCHITO:  Hey, I also had success! I think I will have “keyganchitos”.
AM: Slow down, Octopussy, you just met her!
SIR POKON: And I have just bought the establishment.
AM: Sorry, Sir Pokon, but we ended the contract.
DIR POKOM: You ended the contract with the Council of *thunder*, but not with me. I’m your boss now and I demand for a repetition of the concert as soon as possible.
AM: MMMPH, what could go even worse?
GUILLE THE KING: I mean, the ostriches enter dancing, I don’t understand that, how can they dance? They should return to the zoo!
OSCAR: I’m late, what happened?
AM&G: Oscar!
*Post-credits scene at 51:43*
MARTINET: Rakzol is taking too much time. Do you think he is all right?
BOXXI: Let’s see if he stops acting like an elite assassin.
MARTINET: Are you okay, Rakzol?
BOXXI: You couldn’t kill a fly. Have you learned your lesson?

RAKZOL: My eye hurts…

The Spanish equivalent of “The Room”, but unbelievably unfunny

Humor so flat that becomes negative

I’m unable to lie, so I will be as sincere as possible while trying to be the less hard I can on this treacherous webseries. It’s not the same to be cynic on a “Bad Animations” made by some goofball in a couple of days than ranting on such a big project with months in the making. I don’t feel comfortable making jokes “About the new” series, but it’s the only way of making it justice. I will compare this to Tommy Wiseau’s “The Room” to contextualize, a drama film so hilariously bad that cinephiles pay to watch it on tours around the world.

Difference is that “About the new” is moderately well acted not counting two characters. Even its style doesn’t go full Internet-humor or stereotypically Spanish, it takes a middle point in a “so bad it’s good” way. Involuntary comedy and technical aspects are the strongest points of this show, so I think they should had gone “Full the Room” on the delivery.

Let’s start with the positive aspects: the series (fails on) being a college comedy, so the first two episodes are a double pilot to present the characters in a correct format, a quarter hour for each episode. Voluntarily and presumably voluntarily, technical aspect and characterization are the best parts. It would be too easy making a three-camera sitcom, so they asked to record on plenty of places and that gives them a solid 8 on that matter.

The best character is by far the hyperactive girl, who makes us wish the series had been just about her perspective. She ALL-MOST made us laugh because the joke of her being the sister of the sexy classmate was well established. But the punchline failed on its delivery because the protagonist had to faint.

Professional technique, laughably bad execution

The fainting scene lets us think that the screenwriters had a minimum idea of making humor, but like the webseries itself, failed on the delivery. I want to presume that actors were just well characterized and not picked just for being what they represent. For example, the protagonist makes her debut making her up in a road while driving, so we immediately despise her. She annoys so much for being the stereotypical choni or Spanish “polygoner” women. It’s really ambitious having such an unlikable main lead that also references the female Mister Jagger characters.

So one of the biggest problems is character-related, they annoy so much that you can’t enjoy the show or laugh with them. It doesn’t have to be mean-spirited to make laugh, but they got trunked in a middle way that doesn’t pay-off. The humor is so flat that becomes negative! They lost a lot for trying to be that PC (Politically Correct), a little edge wouldn’t hurt.

We don’t know what were the screenwriters thinking while writing the jokes because the target audience is very ambiguous. This is supposed to be a comedy because the canned laughs, which wouldn’t be needed if the humor wasn’t that white, first-worldly and saccharine.

Just compare the first episodes of “About the new” with “Badliving”, both Spanish webseries that started without budget and analyzed by Friendzone Team. One managed to make us laugh a lot in its first episode, the other not even with the schlocky transition and shitty pop music.

Even they parody Benny Hill!

The humor is so fascinatingly terrible that feels like drinking bleach because they fucked-up the only joke that almost made us laugh. I lament recurring to this words, but I can only transmit my feelings saying that looks like written by 13 year olds. The concept itself is so lost and diffused because the technical aspect is so freaking good! But the jokes are so cheap that they belong in “Disaster Movie” or “Epic Movie” before than a webseries. Desperation is what causes such a great technique with the retard and hard to watch tropes. Makes one wonder how this was redacted, read, commented and laughed by professionals. It’s like they only liked it because they appear.

Overused jokes and clichés include characters talking directly to the camera while they talk in a conversation, scenes with different audio quality, vague efforts of surreal humor, a GPS that sounds like Santi the Clown, canned-laughed and forced pop culture references, a probably unintentional Bill Cipher expy and, the worst of all, a royalty free Benny Hill montage!

I would like to give some suggestions to helping the improvement, so the previous paragraph consists on that. But an honorific mention goes to the characters introduced in the second episode with the apparent motivations of overacting and angering the audience. It’s bizarre that a show starring a choni and thousands of desperation screams can be out-annoyed by these two characters I want to believe they are just “well-portrayed”. Their roles involve saying stupid things each pair of seconds like if they were pandering to Tumblr users or wanted to become memes.

In conclusion about this calamity

They have to improve a lot to be acceptable, which doesn’t seem likely if they already produced the entire first season. “About the new” could be the next “Badliving” or even “Community” if they took the script a bit more seriously, because the professional aspects are notable just in the other disciplines.

If they hadn’t finished the first season, we would say to cancel the rest of the episodes or completely change the direction to correct mistakes. I want Shyncrica to prosper, but this killed me. We want them to succeed with something genuinely good and comic, not because a fanboy commented that was supposed to be intellectual humor.

Why should we lie about this? They wouldn’t learn what was disliked if I resumed in 4 pages that I laughed out loud. Such a dreadful starting could stain the trademark quality of the company, even if the second season gets way better. They could imitate a Channel Hop with a spiritual successor maintaining most of the cast and characters.

It looks like I ask for forgiveness just to compensate the bad aspects, but I really felt like I was punched in the belly. Even first-grade college students can make better comedy that doesn’t look like a letter soup. Good luck for Shyncrica and I hope to see the best of you soon.

jueves, 29 de octubre de 2015

Una webserie accidentada

El abismo de la comedia involuntaria

Sinceridad ante todo, soy incapaz de mentir, como mucho podría suavizar la verdad diciendo que no es tan malo o bueno. Se me hace muy difícil hablar sobre un trabajo realizado por un equipo que llevo siguiendo desde hace meses y sé que son muy trabajadores y talentosos. Personalmente, me duele hablar así de su creación. Si van a leer esto, que lo tomen con mucho humor.

No es lo mismo realizar un “Bad Animations” de algo que se hizo en menos de dos días copiando dibujos que un proyecto tan grande con meses de producción detrás. No me siento bien haciendo chistes sobre “About the new”, pero es la única forma de hacerle justicia. Por mucho que me duela hacerles una mala crítica, debo decir que son comparables al Tommy Wiseau español.

“The Room” es un drama por Tommy Wiseau tan hilarante que los cinéfilos pagan por verla y reírse en tours alrededor del mundo. Su productor, director y guionista no se avergüenza de ello, sino que aprovecha el tirón y es muy querido por los fans. El hecho de hacer un producto audiovisual tan en serio fue su perdición porque acabó en el abismo de la comedia involuntaria.

La serie está moderadamente bien actuada salvo por un par de personajes. Su estilo no es totalmente de webserie o españolada, más bien está a caballo entre esas dos y “tan malo que es bueno”. Como la comedia involuntaria es el punto fuerte del guión, debieron haber ido “full the room” manteniendo el profesional aspecto técnico.

Los aspectos positivos

En resumidas cuentas, la serie es una “comedia” (comillas necesarias porque en ningún momento resultó divertida, lo siento) que se desarrolla en una universidad. Los dos primeros episodios son en realidad un doble piloto debatiblemente injustificado en cuanto a trama porque no suceden suficientes cosas. Aún así, el formato lo hace comprensible ya que los episodios no llegan al cuarto de hora y podría resultar extraño un piloto tan largo.

Los puntos (voluntariamente) más fuertes son el aspecto técnico y la caracterización (presuntamente intencionales). Hubiera sido demasiado fácil hacer una sitcom de tres cámaras, se aprecia que lo hayan evitado. A pesar de que la mayor parte de la acción sucede dentro de una universidad, hay una gran cantidad de localizaciones y todas son aprovechadas. El aspecto técnico es un 8 sólido, está bastante elaborado. Sobre todo para ser una serie de bajo o nulo presupuesto. Han tenido que pedir mil permisos para grabar en diferentes localizaciones y se nota que hasta los extras lo pasaron muy bien.

Otros puntos fuertes son el personaje hiperactivo, quien hace desear que la serie hubiera sido contada desde su punto de vista. Es lo único en los dos episodios que casi, casi, CA-SI nos hizo reír. Se estableció adecuadamente como un personaje que disgusta a los protagonistas y, como punchline de un chiste bien planteado, se revela que es la hermana del hombre sexy con quien la protagonista quiere ligotear. Además, desde un punto de vista visual, está bien realizado porque el personaje entra de una forma graciosa al plano, a modo de sorpresa.

Ni chicha ni limonada

La escena del hermano nos da a entender que los guionistas tienen un mínimo conocimiento de cómo funciona el humor. Es entonces cuando arruinaron el chiste haciendo que la protagonista se desmayara. Interpreto que los actores caracterizaron bien sus papeles y no fueron cogidos por ser lo que interpretan.

Por ejemplo, la protagonista es presentada maquillándose en la carretera, logrando que la cojamos mucho asco desde su escena introductoria. Queremos pensar que es realmente una actriz haciendo un papelón y no que pillaron a una choni. Es muy ambicioso que hayan escogido a una protagonista desagradable en vez de alguien con quien el público pudiera sentirse identificado. Triunfa en su propósito de desagradar a la audiencia y es un toque muy ingenioso que la voz emulara a los personajes femeninos de Mister Jagger. Las protagonistas secundarias son la inteligente de gafas y la pequeñaja, adorable y psicópata, que casi nos logra hacer reír.

Y aquí llega el mayor problema referente a los personajes, dan tanto asco por lo general que llegan a no hacer nada de gracia. Logran unas personalidades tan desagradables y prepotentes que hacen cuestionar por qué alguien querría ver la serie. Se quedan en ni chicha ni limonada, deberían haber ido más allá con la caracterización porque el humor resulta tan plano que se vuelve negativo. El presupuesto no es excusa, debieron haber exagerado mucho más e incluso no haber sido tan PC (Políticamente Correctos).

Humor blanco, primermundista y sacarino

Podría sonar injusto comparar “About the new” con “Malviviendo”, pero tened en cuenta que ambas son series españolas comenzadas sin presupuesto. Las dos disponen de una serie de vídeo-comentarios en el canal Friendzone Team y sería recomendable ver los primeros de ambos para apreciar las diferencias en las reacciones. El guión no nos ha hecho reír en dos capítulos motu proprio, solo la transición cutre con la música pop irritante.

¿En qué estaban pensando? Por muy bien grabado que esté, ni siquiera podemos hacernos a la idea de quién puede ser el público objetivo de este tipo de comedia. ¿Quién se supone que es el target? Suponemos que es comedia por las risas enlatadas, las cuales no se necesitarían si los chistes estuviesen bien escritos. Han puesto risas enlatadas hasta en momentos que no hacían gracia, como un chico repitiendo algo con voz tonta. Lo rebaja y lo quita puntos, no pega risas enlatadas en una serie con tantos planos de cámara. Estaría bien que probasen un episodio sin ellas, permitiría más inversión.

El humor es fascinantemente terrible, equivalente a beber detergente. Incluso el único chiste que casi nos hace reír tuvo que ser arruinado. Me siento mal por cagarme en algo sin presupuesto porque sé que mis impuestos no han sido malgastados. Y también lamento tener que recurrir a palabras fuertes, pero es la única forma de poder transmitir lo que me parece: “no tiene ni puta gracia, he visto vídeos por niños de trece años con mejor comedia”.

Y para colmo, Benny Hill

La identidad de esta serie está muy difusa porque se supone que es un producto profesional. Pero hay demasiados elementos fuera de lugar en algo que pueda considerarse bien realizado como risas enlatadas para saber dónde hay que reírse, humor tan fácil que parece sacado de “Disaster Movie” o “Epic Movie”, personajes hablando directamente a cámara cuando están teniendo conversaciones entre ellas, escenas en las que no se entiende bien lo que dicen, gags de fondo que no aportan nada, “humor” surrealista como un GPS con la voz de Santi el Payaso, referencias culturales forzadísimas con su respectiva risa enlatada para recordarte el talento de los guionistas, un personaje que copia descaradamente a Bill Cipher (dudo que los productores hayan visto “Gravity Falls”) y, el peor de todo, ¡UN BENNY HILL SIN COPYRIGHT!

El contraste entre la profesional técnica y las subnormalidades que hacen y dicen es desesperante. Es realmente duro de ver, parece que dos directores a punto de divorciarse estuvieran violándose detrás de las cámaras. O el guión fue improvisado a toda prisa en menos de una hora. ¿En qué cabeza entra que un grupo de profesionales haya redactado el guión en grupo, comentado y reído? Quizás solo les hacía gracia porque salían ellos. Es como cuando grabas a un primo o hermano haciendo tonterías y solo te hace gracia a ti.

Consejos para ayudar a mejorar

A parte de la lista de escenas que nos sacaron de quicio previamente mostradas, el segundo episodio ilustra a dos personajes con dos aparentes objetivos: sobreactuar y dar rabia. Tiene mérito cuando tu serie está protagonizada por una choni y mil gritos de desesperación. Lo irritantes que son estos personajes (nuevamente, interpreto que son actores interpretando un papel) es llevar la serie a otro nivel. Sus roles se limitan a hacer o decir tonterías cada dos segundos. Es como si estuviesen esperando a que alguien realizara una captura de pantalla para escribir un meme o animar un gif. Quizás esta serie vaya dirigida a la audiencia del Rubius o quiere liderar Tumblr.

En fin, deben dar un salto abismal para poder considerarse aceptables. No tienen pinta de mejorar, especialmente porque se han subido episodios en el plazo de una semana. Lo cual da a entender que rodaron la primera temporada de seguido. Quién sabe, podría ser el siguiente Malviviendo si se tomasen tan solo un poquito en serio el guión. La profesionalidad ya la tienen, desde luego.

Si no hubieran terminado la primera temporada, diría que mandasen esto a tomar por saco o lo redirigieran solucionando los errores. Ojalá triunfaran, les contratasen para producir algo y se pudieran reír de mí, porque el talento y la ambición están ahí. Yo ni pediría dinero, con que me pagaran el viaje e invitaran a sería pizza suficiente. No puedo decir que lo siento suficientes veces, aunque ellos deberían hacerlo en caso de haber hecho pagar por verlo.

“Quiero que prosperen, pero esto me ha matado”

Apoyamos esta serie, queremos que Shyncrica saque algo bueno y cómico no porque un tipo haya puesto en comentarios que es humor intelectual. Esto no es criticar por criticar, me sacrificaría por ellos si fuese mi forma de demostrar que estoy de su parte, me merecería sufrir un poco. Pero no aprenderían si dijese en 40 páginas que la serie es muy buena y me he reído. Quiero que prosperen, pero esto me ha matado.

Si no hubieran terminado la temporada, no sé si deberían plantear un reboot, mandarlo todo a tomar por saco o hacer una serie totalmente diferente. Esto podría manchar la serie para siempre aunque la segunda temporada sea legítimamente buena. La serie no ofrece nada nuevo, pero el equipo tiene un potencial asombroso. Incluso podrían hacer un “cambio de cadena” como secuela espiritual manteniendo actores y algunos personajes.

Parece que solo me disculpo para compensar, pero ver esto ha sido realmente como un puñetazo en la tripa. Que un grupo de mi universidad salga con esto me hace perder la fe en la humanidad. He visto cortos de primer curso más graciosos que esto. No me puedo creer que el guión haya llevado trabajo, parece sacado de una sopa de letras. Incluso siendo abierto de mente. No me lo quiero creer, quiero despertarme, ver el episodio de verdad y que me guste. Muchos ánimos a Shyncrica, ojalá se llegue a ver pronto lo mejor de vosotros.

domingo, 11 de octubre de 2015

A morbid pastiche with plenty of visual humor

“Possessed” is a groovy horror stop-motion comedy perfect for Halloween marathons, which illustrates Spanish pop culture as a B-movie. It’s the first Spanish animated film in a while not being an adaptation or considered good just for being national. The trailer doesn’t make justice to the movie because misrepresents the way that tropes are used in the movie. It’s not a parody, but a morbid pastiche with plenty of visual humor. The references go from Lovecraft and “Evil Dead” even to “The Simpsons”.

I thank SAM (Samuel Ortí Martí) for making a clay-animation picture instead of generic CGI that loses al the Aardmanesque magic. It totally deserves more attention and could put Spanish stop-motion in the map if the word to word gives it enough recognition. I hope that a decent DVD with documentaries compensates the shamefully limited release even in Spain.

This film made me want to meet SAM because breaks all the targets for me: a tone reminiscent of Torrente, church satire, Santiago Segura, not overusing José Mota in the dub, making flamenco music tolerable, Aardmanesque animation, well-written Spanish jokes by Rubén Ontiveros and endless tributes to the horror genre make the movie unforgettable.


Una comedia de horror stop-motion perfecta para Halloween

“Pos eso” ilustra la cultura española como si fuese una película de serie B digna de contar con Bruce Campbell. Considero que es la primera película real animada en España por no ser una adaptación ni limitar su calidad a ser nacional. Agradezco a SAM (Samuel Ortí Martí) la creación del film en clay-animation en vez de genérico CGI, ya que aporta “magia” digna de Aardman.

La película podría ser descrita como una mezcla de tropos de la cultura popular española y horror de serie B que el tráiler no hace justicia. Tan solo la primera escena tiene más creatividad que “Scary Movie” y “Tadeo Jones”. El film es un pastiche mórbido que atrapa la curiosidad mucho más humor visual que hablado, el cual podría perderse durante la traducción. Las referencian van desde Lovecraft hasta “Evil Dead” e incluso Apu de “Los Simpson”.

SAM podría recibir la atención que se merece y su película pondría el stop-motion español en el mapa si formara parte del “Monster Madness” en Cinemassacre. Espero una buena edición en DVD con documentales de su creación porque el estreno fue limitadísimo incluso dentro de España.

Me gustaría conocer a SAM

El tono de la película es reminiscente a “Torrente” por ilustrar los defectos del país humorísticamente, plus una dura crítica a la iglesia. El reparto cuenta con talentos de voz como Santiago Segura y José Mota utilizados de la forma más apropiada desde el doblaje castellano de “Monsters University”. La banda sonora es destacable porque utiliza el impopular género del flamenco tan tolerablemente que agradaría incluso a alguien que no le guste.

La animación similar a Aardman, los chistes escritos por Rubén Ontiveros que no estarían fuera de lugar en las primeras temporadas de “Cálico Electrónico” y referencias interminables que enmarcan el film la hacen inolvidable para quien pueda sumergirse en el loco mundo de la película. Es un nuevo aporte a los maratones de Halloween con comedias de horror y stop-motion.