sábado, 14 de diciembre de 2013

Hateful Comparisons: Vete a la versh vs. Telegordo

Español: Esta es la primera vez que traduzco algo mío para que pueda ser disfrutado por la audiencia angloparlante. Originalmente, iba a subtitular en vídeo para presentarlo a los Red Ribbon Reviewers, pero tras escribir el guión adaptado perdía demasiado tiempo colocando cada frase en la línea del tiempo. Por lo que abrid el vídeo en otra ventana y ponerlas pequeñas para poder leer el guión y ver el vídeo al mismo tiempo.

English: This is the first time I translate something made by me for the English speakers. I originally planned to subtitle the video for the Red Ribbon Reviewers, but I was losing too much time putting each phrase on the timeline. So open the video in other window and make them small so you can read the script and watch the video at the same time.

Ver el vídeo en la página de los RRR / Watch the video on the RRR page:


[AMvs] Comparaciones Odiosas: Vete a la versh... por aitormolina
The original review for the Red Ribbon Reviewers was planned to be about DBZ Battle of Gods, but my PC broke down and I lost too many time fixing it and recovering all my projects and programmes.
If I wanted to help the cause, I had to translate a previous video, so I picked this one because my fans consider it the best review I made yet. The BoG review will still be done and presented for next year's RRR, so we don't lose anything this way.
Special thanks to the Cartoon Hero, who diffused the word and recorded a cameo for the BoG review.
For more information, visit this link:
*Sorry for the Spanglish

This work is for a mature audience, because it contains themes that can offend people with different criterions. The goal of this work is nothing more than entertainment.

Aitor & Lugosi present:
Hateful Comparisons
Vete a la versh*1 vs. Telegordo*2
*1 Vete a la versh: "Vete a la verga" means "Go to fuck yourself" in Mexican slang.
*2 Telegordo: Telefat

AM: Egun on guztioi*...
*Egun on guztioi: "Good day everybody" in Vasque.
AM: Aitor Molina talking to you...
AM: In a new section...
AM: Nothing, forget it, when I say at the end of an episode which will be the following review, I mean which will be the following on which I will work, not the next being aired.
AM: So I started to write Harry Potter, but it's not easy being such a long movie with so many things worth talking, and I may not put everything because that would be excesive.
AM: So I started working in another two before, both taken from the "Top 20 reviews that I will (or not) make".
AM: There are some of these reviews that I really want to make before Harry Potter, and one is this, the first edition of Hateful Comparisons. Fine, Lugosi?
L: Now yes.
MS: And what about Doctor Pandemia? Won't you save him? And the Mandarin?
L: Shut up, Martillo* Smith.
*Martillo: Hammer
MS: Sorry...
L: Aitor went to rescue Pandemia, believe me if he went...
AM: Do you really need to tell it, Lugosi?
L: He went twice, and both to wrong conventions.
AM: She had to tell it.
L: And it doesn't end there. When he arrived the third time, Pandemia escaped the same way that he came.
AM: In a very dirty way.
L: And he found a better henchwoman.
AM: Better than who? The moron of the first episode?
L: Eh? Yes, than him.
AM: Oh, and tell also that the Mandarin wasn't a supervillain, but an actor imitating one. Can you imagine a real movie doing that? It would be really stupid, just imagine people's faces.
L: Are you comparing that loser with Marvel's? That's being hateful.
AM: And talking about Hateful Comparisons... I'm hungry, do you want some ramen?
L: Let's go.

EF: Hey dudes, do you know what Aitor did on the conventions? Now you can know it buying the "Aitor Molina Reloaded" DVD. Do you know who I am? I'm ElFariasWTF*1, the best youtuber of all time, YEAH. Who makes the letsplays, gameplays and... oh, is this a furby*2?
*1 ElFariasWTF: Parody of "ElRubiusOMG", first Spanish youtuber on getting a million subscribbers basically riping-off PewDiePie.
*2 Believe it or not, one of Elrubius' most famous videos consists of him looking for a furby with random dubstep and then copying Nostalgia Critic's Halloween special.
-And it's funny because I write it on the screen.
-Subscribe, I'm too lazy to make original material.
-I put here the "Subscribe" button so you can see that I don't make videos for fame or money.
And remember, kids.
Follow ONLY famous youtubers so they can eclipse unknow ones.
And now, the real review.

L: This set looks like your house's kitchen.
AM: IT'S my house's kitchen... Hey, welcome to this section called Hateful Comparisons, where we will compare two series, movies or whatever that have... too many things in common.
L: Sure, "Telegordo" and "Vete a la versh" have many things in common.
AM: Well, TG is a series that I like while everybody seems to hate and everybody seems to like VALV even I hate it.
L: I think that this is predictible, you will give good qualifications to TG and bad ones to VALV, that simple. What if you review first VALV and then I do TG so we can finish comparing both shows' episodes face to face?
AM: Ok, that seems right. So, let's start with "Aitor Molina vs. Vete a la versh".

Ep1: Videogames
AM: I sincerely think that Darkar will do a good job with this series. I saw him on a interview two years ago, he said that he has great inspirations and he watched a lot of cartoons growing up.
AM: I like that he is so sincere with his motivations, I could say the same; every kid that watched cool cartoons growing up want now to create their own series.
*In the interview, he says basically what I told*
AM: Let's go to his channel to watch the first episode.
AM: WHAT? It lasts a single minute?
AM: And what's this?
*The warning I put before*
AM: Wow, if Darkar puts that warning in the first ep means that he is truly making something for adults and intelligent people. That's what I look for in my audience, it's awesome, I didn't know any animator who had understood this before. I suppose that this will be an unconventional, innovative and original series, I can't wait to see it.
AM: Darkar, you have my atention, you have a new viewer. I think that you are an animator so talented that in less than a minute you can sintetize polemycal and serious themes like... videogames.
AM: Seriously, videogames? It can be controversial if you dislike a popular game, fanboys will always eat you, but I think that is a weak theme for a first ep.
AM: Ok, the logo, faster, these were 10 seconds...
AM: Wow... only wow... that has to be the most self-explanatory intro in the world. It only shows the characters by the half and their names under. Just imagine how far we could go only using that as intro.
AM: All that epic introduction in "Lord of the Rings"? No!
*Go to Mordor*
AM: Those "Star Wars" letters? No!
*Go to a far far away galaxy*
AM: Even religions, the Bible.
*Go to Hell*
AM: Darkar is obviously based on his creator, let's compare the animated version with the looks from the interview. The same hairstyle, same eyes colour, same earrings and piercings, same beard, same dark style of clothing...
AM: He also put "dark" as part of his name, even the character, directly inspired on the creator himself, hasn't gothic looks or... I don't know, all urban tribes that wear black look the same to me, I call them "darkis".
AM: This, ladies and gentlemen, is a Gary Stu, or Mary Sue if it's a woman. That term points that the character of a work is based on the creator being... Too overpowered and superior, to a ridiculous point. For example, Oscar from "Pesadillas del Infierno"* has the same name than his creator and he's very strong.
*Pesadillas del Infierno: "Nightmares from Hell", a sprite-series made by Oscar Alejandro Bossi.
AM: But at least he hasn't a design so... androgynous.
AM: And the other character, Mecoboy... when I watched the series for the first time, I thought that he was a robot and "meco" meant "mechanical". Then I ask to my friend Davidsillo* if the meco word had any meaning in the Mexican slang.
*Davidsillo Animations: Sprite-animator of "Super Smash Ball X" and "Hikairi".
L: And what does it mean?
AM: Better watch the full ep, Darkar will explain us well.
AM: The animation starts at the 23th second, after the warning, logo, intro and title. It ends in the 52 followed by the credits, funniest part by far.
AM: Written by Roberto "Darkar" Alatriz, like if the script would win an Oscar, followed by more parts, all made by him. I don't see any problem on showing the entire ep. If you make the math, it only lasts 29 seconds.
*I do the math*
AM: THIS IS LAZY! No, this is shameful, I'm sure that if you only use the 35% of my reviews, REVIEWS, there would be more original material.
AM: What's more, this is the shortest ep and it shows ALL the flaws of the series. We're going to watch it without introductions and credits, let's see if you think the same as me.
*I refuse to translate VALV, you can see the subtitled version on YouTube*
AM: Have you guessed? If you look, there aren't any jokes, only puns. What's the difference between a joke and a pun? A joke has to be established and end in a comic climax while a pun is a funny phrase that anybody can tell without losing meaning in any context.
AM: Hahaha, he put an "m" before "X-Box". PUN
*Another pun*
"Look, I've always been a videogme and cartoon fanatic"
AM: What type of cartoons have you watched to influence you making this? Man, this ep's theme is gaming and the background looks like Super Mario, who had animated series in the 90's, and even in the movie looks like they had better sense of humour than you. THAT'S GOING FAR.
AM: He couldn't even work a half-celver name for the game that serves as macguffin for the ep. Not even good references! Parodying can give the last chance to save the amusment of something and he didn't thought in that. But the most famous eps are lame parodies.
AM: So, what have we learnt on the pilot?
AM: Two main characters, Darkar and Mecoboy. Darkar likes games, Mecoboy not, so Darkar insults Mecoboy.
AM: Well, ok, it's common having a lot of problems in the first ep... even if it lasts 30 seconds... I guess that for the second he has leartn from his flaws.

Ep2: Bitch
AM: Wonderful, the title of the second ep is an insult, and male chauvinist. Can you imagine the ep being Darkar calling bitch everybody wthout any reason?
*And the ep is just that*
AM: Let's see... Look, Darkar... Roberto, which's your real name, I don't know why you call Darkar yourself if you haven't any... "darki" style, for giving it a name... Or Bitcherto... Bitcherto, because is the name that you deserve.
AM: Which reaction will you pretending to have by the viewers when you wrote the script that's bitch, bitch, bitch? Put you in my side, now how can I explain in an intelligent way how bad, dreadful, stupid, pueriloid, antisocial, mongol, jolimbian*, mariokiller and ponyfucker is the ep you made?
*Jolimbo: Spanish youtuber that makes money with shitty videos but people respect him because he's retarded.
AM: Do I need to explain it? Did you really feel intelligent? Did you feel accomplished as a person when you thought, and for sure you told to your friends "Hey, I'm going to make an animation about my character calling everybody bitch, bitch, bitch..."?
AM: And your friends laughed at that? Did they laugh? Did they support you saying "Oh, what an idea, I'm hoping to see it even you told me what it is because you can't make it even funnier"?
AM: Look, anybody can make a stupid video on purpose being an intelligent person at the same time. Stupid humor is funny, it can be, I don't regret it. But when you are making a series... for kids, because you are clearing that this show is for nine-year-old kids who are striking puberty and they start to rebel against adults and society. Kids that start cursing more and feeling cooler, liking adult humor even they always don't understand it.
AM: And this, that hasn't need to be understood because it's only about funny words, stupid words... Kids feel like adults watching this videos, and YEEEI, the love it. Since you are talking to kids, at least put a little effort, you are talking to kids...
AM: The idea that kids have about adults is a person who can curse and tell sex jokes without being bad looked. That's why they like "Family Guy", that's why they like "The Simpsons", that's why they like "South Park" and all the series about a character cursing even if it doesn't make any sense.
AM: That's why they are watching you, don't pretend to be spectacular, don't put messages at the beginning saying "Oh, this si for adults, if you watch this you have balls, you're cool...".
AM: That's... "bitch"... "haha, bitch"... even the minions wouldn't make a joke like that.
AM: Mecoboy doesn't appear in this ep, even it COULD have a bit of charm, a bit of "objective" this ep if Mecoboy had appeared at the beginning saying "Hey Darkar, do you dare to call bitch everyone you see?" and he does.
AM: It COULD be considered a joke then, because it would be a little reason, very stupid, very pueril, very retarded, to make this. But not, this is the ep, "bitch". You sintetized it very well with the title, "bitch".
AM: And this goes further because is the first time that we see the character out of his enviroment. The first ep was in his house, where you can do what you want, you can insult who you want, you can mock who you want...
AM: What's done in your home, lasts on your home. That's understandable, if he wants to call bitch people in his house, he can do it.
AM: The problem is that now the ep happens on the street, where he has the exact same behavior. So this character lacks any meaning, it can't even been called character, it hasn't any type of behavior. It doesn't matter the situation, he will always act the same way, it's not interesting, we don't want to watch a person that doesn't change.
AM: It's like watching a stone, it doesn't matter if you throw the stone to the water, if you throw it to the air or you let it on a table. The stone isn't going to move, it will always be the stone. That's why this series is so boring and predictible, you can always tell what will happen next.
AM: What's more, the joke, explain me the joke, that he goes calling bitch everybody? Because they are women and men equally when bitch is used for chicks? That's the animator's ideology? Like "Hey, I'm breaking the established applying this word in men and girls equally"?
AM: That when we see the girl crying, instead of helping her or changing the joke not to bore, he does the same thing? Is it like "I'm going to do something different? No, I'm going to do which I always do, hohoho, what a joke."?
AM: And then he presumes of having criterion, oh, dude, why are you doing that? Why do you presume about having criterion and being mature? That's it, I can't do this alone, I need a helper!
AM: Since I knew that this was going to happen, I contacted to Panshios Industries so they can make me a robot with the same mind than the creator of this series. So... I present you... Mecha Aitor.
*The Mecha Aitor song*
AM: Hey Mecha Aitor, will you review the series with me?

Ep3: Marochan*
*Marochan: Maruchan is a trade of ramen noodles.
AM: What was that? Now they are trying to give continuity to the series? I said that because in the previous ep he was out and now returns wanting to pee. I don't wanna know what he did.
AM: It's amusing how Bitcharkar talks unintentionally like a "Sex in New York" preppy.
AM: This is the best joke that they've planned until now. We see Bitcharkar wanting to be the atention whore constantly, but Semel* doesn't care. It wouldn't be that bad if it had finished after the talking, but he had to ruin the joke making it longer with a dirty pun.
*Semel: The last name "Lemes" backwards, which references another crappy animator.
AM: That's enough, Mecha Aitor, you're worst than them!
AM: How can I criticize foul-moutheds if you're worst than them?
AM: You can say what you want, a walking stapler like you isn't going to offend me.
*1 Loquendero: Users of the Text Aloud/Loquendo programme, usually little kids who don't know how to make videos.
*2 Rubius: Abbreviation for Elrubius, my "archnemesis".
AM: Thank goodness that I'm half way.

Ep4: Penguins
"It's a penguin!"
AM: It's my imagination or the penguin has the same voice as the Devil from "Pesadillas del Infierno"?
AM: Enough, take out your hand from his ass, don't you?
AM: My gosh, this thing will never end?
AM: Yes... we get it... he thought that he was a female penguin...
Even Jaime Maussan gets it.
*Fast motion becuase it feels so long*
AM: Is there any ep that doesn't end with someone crying? That actually could be Roberto's intentions, making his audiece cry.
AM: Or he simply wants to make money uploading all the shit that comes out of his mind putting VALV in the title. What do Bitcharkar and Semel have to do with this? They appear at the beginning to explain the joke unless the target audience wouldn't understand it.
AM: But they don't return at the end to conclude the joke. Are this characters so charismatic that they can't stop using them for any bullshit? And what's worse, the penguins return in their own spin-off ep, like that show about penguins who are more popular than the protagonists of the movie that they came from.

Ep5: The Voracious Chancre
AM: Now, the show has its opportunity to convince me for a simple reason, I love musical eps. I love when sometimes songs are put in series, but better when a full-musical ep is made... or a movie.
AM: That's right pals, mantain it classy.
AM: And I'm getting really tired about Bitcharkar's obsession with pointing. Again, it's like this animations were for babys and they had to point constantly what are talking about not to confuse them. It reminds me about some youtuber...
EF: Penises... AGH, A FURBY!
AM: And what is the girl doing next to him? Did they know each other? Then, why is he annoying her all the time? Look at her face, she doesn't seem very happy, what's more, she barely sings, she clearly doesn't want to be there with that person, she was obligated to go there.
AM: Oh, gorgeous, a sexual harassment joke... bravo... bravo...
AM: And HOOOW not, the song is about jerking.
AM: Being honest... this ep isn't entirely bad taking out the stupid insults and that strange shit about the girl's harrassment. The song is catchy and the rhymes are creative enough with the animation following well the lyrics, I don't think that he made a bad job in this chapter. Yes, it's pueril, it's dirty, but well... it isn't as bad as the rest, at least he tried to change the formula and this time worked. I wish that he makes more eps like this, I actually laughed and had a good time watching it.
L: Really?
AM: Nope, I exaggerated it a bit not to say that all is bad.

Ep6: Controlling
AM: Bitcharkar, are you sure that you want the control? Haven't you thought that the person that is picking it is made of...?
AM: And not a regular ham, it's green ham.
AM: It's the same joke, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!
AM: From where did the grenade come from? Now he is also a weapon smuggler?
AM: Sure... slow motion is really funny...
AM: But why a glass breaking sound?
(Semen on the mouth)
I'm the animal lover, the SEMEN lover.

AM: Making a stupid and half-absurde protagonist isn't anything new in Flash animated series, it won't be the first, neither the last time we're going to see a character like that. But take for example another popular characters like Kunashgi, Eddsworld or Mr. Plinkett, who are very goofy to show the stupidity about anime, teenagers or movies respectively.
AM: In Bitcharkar's case, there is not any purpose, there is not any message or joke between lines, what you see is what it is, and if you don't like it, CONGRATULATIONS.
AM: That means that you don't conform with any thing, so if you managed to watch until this, thanks a lot for your support.
AM: But you could like this series because... you like stupid humor, which isn't bad, we sometimes have to disconnect a bit from our brains to have a good time with fart jokes and stupid things. It's not bad, everybody needs it once in a while, it's a biological need, that's why we have eschatological humor.
AM: But of course, when you presume of being intelligent, of having criterion, of being mature and then you put this type of things, it's normal to make people upset.
AM: Because you are failing completely in your goal, falling lower than it's possible. So this series hasn't any merit, anybody can make this jokes but the song.
AM: We have a single male character, the other is made of semen, they share the house and we know that the guy is a jerk that only knows to say dirty things and he pretends to be darki and know about videogames.
AM: But not only that, he has a superority complex, so he tries to humiliate everybody he sees to satisfy his loneliness. The only person that gives him some atention is the girl that cries, because she sees him as someone bigger and she's scared about being hurt by him.
AM: What if Mecoboy is the manifestation of Darkar's loneliness? What if Darkar, in his loniness and sadness, collected his... "meco"... giving it human form to make a friend? Take in count that they live together and he doesn't seem to be disgusted about having it near him. Even when he has the face covered, he only complains about the sears, which means that he's used to it.
AM: Is Mecoboy real? Had he interacted with any character but Darkar? It may even be a product of his imagination. Maybe all that happens in the series is product of the sick mind of a character that represents the repressed infance of its creator.
AM: In that case... it makes a lotf of sense... it's even sad... I don't think that it's the secret goal of the series. I'm going to sleep, I'm tired, let's see how Lugosi reviews TG.

You're childish...
And disgustingly traitor.
A selfish hero.
What happened with the cartoons and videogames fanatic?
And your superioruty complex...

AM: Oh, nice, once again with lucid dream, last time it happened was a cheap excuse to have crossover with Skapokon and Voltiok*. And they hadn't even finish their part!
*Watch "Aitor Molina vs. Seahorse Seashell Party".
AM: Ok, this is definitely giving me goosebumps.
*After waking up*
AM: Yes?
L: I have to review TG.

EP1: Starting with the wrong foot
L: Hi, I'm Lugosi, and as part of the first edition of "Hateful Comparisons", we will talk about TG, but first, let's know its creator.
L: Not like Darkar, who had experience, the user Megaruben4 had more simple videos, typical ones in small channels. At most, we could save a mini-series called "Worms Poo", where he shows his capacities on the Pívot program and his likes for eschatological humor.
L: In the fisrt ep, you have to clear which type of series you're making, establishing as well the main characters, the tone and ambience. And this series' tone is... pussy?
L: Let's see, there are three levels of femininity in men.

Coming out the closet = Gay/Homosexual
(It doesn't have to be effeminate)
-A homosexual that DOESN'T come out the closet by cowardice.
-Insult that means unmanliness.
*Gay/homosexual aren't bad words, but sexual orientations that you can't choose. Is like insulting for a race, country, sex or age.
Pussies don't usually understand this.

L: And this series' character is... black?
L: But why animators are obsessed with jerking?
L: Ok, let my clear this, the presenter is a stick called Ketchup Norris that talks fast with a voice that sounds like Vocaloid without music, masturbates without penis and believes that he's fat.
AM: Lugosi, the problem is that you're trying to make sense about something that clearly doesn't pretend to have it.
L: That excuse works for everything, that way, VALV could be a masterpiece. At least, VALV had continuity in its eps and this cuts to a sketch-thing where... a doodle dies because yes.
L: Does Kira kill him?
AM: Do you know what is the ep's key? Read what's there.
L: "Retarded edition".
AM: Like you can see, the creator himself is aware about what is making, there isn't any trick, is just what is tells, even he says that he doesn't want to bore us.
L: How could we be bored if we are asking ourselves all the time what's on the screen?
AM: While in VALV, we hadn't anythng to ask, so we get bored when they made longer the pun.
L: First, if he's constipated, he would blow it slowler. Second, the turd is bigger than the person. Third, it's alive and flies.
AM: Wait a moment... that reminds me about something...
L: Aitor, I pass to the second ep?
AM: Yes, yes, I have too many things in mind and I can't review now.

Ep2: Talking about Chuck Norris
L: It would be better if I resume this ep, because it's even worse than the first, which wasn't funny but at least we could get the jokes. It has more audio, video, animation and edition problems than the first. That without mentioning the second half, which consists on a robot even more inaudible telling Chuck Norris jokes taken from Google.
L: For that I search them myself!

Ep3: Losing time with a contest
L: At least they admit in the title they are losing our time.
Piling coins.
L: I wonder if he knows that a million cents are 10.000€, it would be hilariously true, it's a typical jackpot on the contests. In defense, I have to say that the facial expressions are more detailed than the previous eps and he managed to solve the edition problems.
L: But against it, all has half sense. Not complete or double sense, just half, like the jokes weren't completed. If it wasn't enough, there's a scene when he puts a lot of famous movie soundtracks without any sense or goal, "Saw" is one of them.
L: Then he starts playing with the program and, YEEI, he puts it as part of the show. It looks like the Mad Hatter's dance.
L: Then it looks that it will finish and...
L: The "Saw" music again not... I'M GONNA SHOOT MYSELF!
AM: Lugosi, don't, hold on!
AM: Better give me that!

Ep4: Valentine's Day Special
L: Fuck, could you put a closer first plane with more dark circles?
L: This show is upseting me, I can't understand it, he says that he hates Valentine's Day and then he puts hearts everywhere! If he explained why we should hate it, it could be even good, but this way I can't enjoy it!

Ep5: Tourism in Poop City
Poop City, City of Sin
L: Ok, this is better because does something different going out the set, and the voice sounds better. It has lame jokes, like Justin Bieber's, but at least it recovers with things so silly that are amusing like the rotary bear. And isn't that Mort Meyers from Mothman The Animated Series?
L: What's that?
AM: Oh, this is... my dream diary, where everything that I make into videos comes from. With your permission... I'm going to sleep one moment, but don't awake me. If you want to tell me something, you sleep too and speak to me in the dream, ok?
L: That's stupid.
AM: Yeah, but it works.
L: Yesh.
AM: And I'm Javert!
L: Good, but I don't have many things to say about the sixth... is really good.

Ep6: The Ahh's Birth
L: If you didn't like the previous ones, this won't change your mind, but the jokes were better worked and it makes a pretty clever crossover with "Pikeyo".
L: That's it, Aitor?
L: Lol, I hope I could sleep that fast, there's a single way to do that.

L: And... this is your subconscious?
AM: I don't think so, there would be hot chicks.
AM: I mean, MORE hot chicks.
L: But, I don't get it, this is supposed to be linked with the review?
AM: I'm sure that yes, all my reviews came from my subconscious, that means that we have to find something that we hadn't catch yet.
L: I think that people who don't know "Yume Nikki*" won't understand nothing, like what happened to you with "Red Leo Media".
*Yume Nikki: A must-play game for your PC, a lot of my works are based on it.
L: I think that we should search in that house.

L: But... that isn't...?
GIRL: Please, don't hurt me!
AM: Wait a moment, since I discovered Yume Nikki, a game which meaning and creator Kikiyama are a mystery, I tried to find the essence of the meaning by myself. What if Darkar and Kikiyama are the same person?
DK: BITCH, yeah fucker, only someone as intelligent and with criterion like me could make a masterpiece like VALV. And it was easy, I only had to take out all the smart and creative aspects of my previous work, Yume Nikki, until making it into... How could I describe it? The skeleton or essence of every work.
L: So... you discovered the raw material of the narrative genre? That's great! You should go to the real world and be recognized for all you got.
DK: No, girl, it's not as easy. To find this "narrative essence", I had to break all moral and civil laws ever created, like... let's say that... I made the girl cry... by his anal rectum.
AM: You're a pederast and you took advantage of that!
DK: Ah, and not only that, boob, with all this dogshit of dream control, I'm like an allmighty god and that shit. Watch, MECOBOA*, HERE!
*Mecoboa: Mecoboy + Uboa
DK: Do you like this, eh, bitches? You hadn't arrive yet to the eps where I parody videogames, not? Do you want to know something? I really don't parody, I absorb the essence of every game and I use it to increase my power. Can you remember this final battle, BITCHAITOR?
AM: Yes, you bastard, this was going to be the final battle from "Red Leo Media 3*", and you ripped me off!
*Red Leo Media 3: I made that animation after this, but its name is "The Halloween Revenge IV".
DK: Correct, and now, I will eat you to have the essence of all your works.
AM: Wait, this doesn't make any sense, how could you made real a subconscious?
DK: Very easy, when I was programming Yume Nikki in the "Khan Building*1", before Red and Leo*2 bought it, I masturbated day and night until getting literally dry.
*1 Khan Building: In Red Leo Media, I give a twist to Yume Nikki mythos, and this is the name of the player's house.
*2 Red & Leo: Like the name suggest, they are the main characters of Red Leo Media.
DK: So dry that I ejaculated part of my vital energy, and then I decided to pile all the semen that...
AM: Ah, no, that's disgusting!
DK: Shut up, fucking slimy, and let me finish this fucking crap!
AM: Sorry.
DK: I piled the cum with the intention of making a friend, or something, so it got alive and Mecoboy was born. It was a very strange phenomenom, but not an isolated case because recently, the creepypasta creatures started to get real and some androids developed life and feelings... While other people obtained amazing powers touching things like fecal material, coins, towels... Even you, BITCHAITOR, managed to give life to stones and hammers. You're destined to become like me.
AM: That won't never happen because... I respect my audience.
AM: When I make something, they show appreciation. I don't have to explain when I'm serious and when I'm joking, because they have their own criterion and that mutual communication makes me want to try new ways of entertainment. Some times I will be wrong and I have been penalized, but these aren't nothing more than reasons to learn and be a better youtuber.
DK: Do you still have faith on YouTube, the page where to triumph you have to sell yourself, pretend to be silly or use bots to earn more views?
AM: You're right, I have not faith in YT, but yes in people that don't use it as an excuse to put them limits. Those aren't just youtubers, they're "moviemakers", and soon or late, when people stop worrying about views or fame, they will be recognized as the real big ones.
DK: Stop talking, you had to stop after "Mario se vuelve Torrente*", Aitor.
*Mario se vuelve Torrente: My first video, which parodies the Torrente Game with Mario characters.
DK: And do you know something? When I get rid of you, I'm going to sell my ideas to Disney Channel and make "Vete a la versh: Mission Marvel*".
*"Phineas & Ferb: Mission Marvel" is my most requested review yet.
L: Stay away from him, YOU BITCH!

AM: That's right, Lugosi, you did it, you defeat him!
L: Now what can we do?

AM: Well, that has been epic for sure, but there's not better place that home, my dirty and noisy home, with my dirty and deficient blue screen, and my...
AM: Perfect and delicate Lugosi...

L: Ok, let's end this one time for all comparing VALV and TG eps.
AM: These are the pilot eps, where we have to meet the protagonists and know what type of series will be. Both establish well the tone, but one manages to find the viewers that it wants and the other not.
L: VALV openly admits that his audience is adult and mature, while TG is conscious that it doesn't make any sense and it celebrates its own stupidity.
AM: Besides, VALV1 is too short and only gives time to establish a pun at the end, which's an insult without any cleverness. Megaruben is at least creating his own thing and showing that he's enjoying it.
L: I felt sorry for Darkar, we can notice that he has a good time animating and he works hard. The problem is that he hasn't any material to offer. This point goes fairly to TG.

AM: Yes, I know that I'm comparing the fourth TG with the second VALV, but I have a reason. They have the same theme, we see for the first time the characters out of their homes and how they interact with their ambiences.
L: Since this moment is when TG starts developing well its jokes, even there are some DREADFUL ones, some of them are hilarious.
AM: I don't want to repeat myself more, saying "bitch" again and again isn't a joke and it doesn't make laugh to anybody with more than nine mental years.
AM: Lol, bitch.

AM: Here we see that the eps become longer, and it's normal. There's a law on the Internet which tells that if you make three eps with a little continuity, you have an official series.
L: TG doesn't get it, the jokes are too long and unfunny for the most part, like using movie soundtracks without any reason... agh, I can't take it.
AM: Yes, I admit that this could easily be the worst TG by far, the problem is that VALV isn't better, it bets all to an ending pun that annoys instead of entertain, which's supposed to be the goal.
L: TG3 is longer and has more... script. In that's superior to VALV3, but they have more characters, animation and sense, if we can call it like that. But both eps are bad, so this is a draw.

AM: The next point goes to VALV, because even it isn't good, it doesn't have to google jokes for half of the ep.

L: These eps have been linked because they try to make something different and... they blow.
AM: Well, TG had the opportunity to explain why it hates Valentine's Day or make fun of it like I did in the "San Banentin*" special, but it lost it to make a cheap-ass montage.
*San Banentin: I disguised as The Dark Knigh Rises' Bane to parody Valentine's Day.
L: A musical ep never comes bad, and if it's from VALV, we couldn't hope for nothing more than jerking.

AM: Since this eps, they become better because they discovered their own formula and now they only have to follow it. Of course, if you dislike the previous ones, these won't change your mind, so this should also be a draw.
AM: Well, it's true, the animation and voices on VALV are better and that may count a bit more, that's it?
L: Just the opposite, for being an advanced ep, it seems that he is out of ideas. It uses the lower point of humor having that capacities on Flash. Seriously, when something ends with a grenade that came out of nothing, you can't say that it's creative.
L: TG6 has at least very funny phrases "Hey, God, will you autograph my Bible?", how a joke like that can be forgotten and someone for making illogical curses the acclamation of thousands of kids? I really think that TG is better series than VALV, we sometimes need something simple and childish to disconnect. Something which gets funnier the more you think on it and not less because you see the coward and bully nature of the main character.
AM: You said that I'm right, that means... that this is better.

If you don't agree, I would gladly watch a review as long and complete as this showing me wrong.

AM: In defense of VALV, we can say that he makes like an ep every month for some years. The same as "Bleach", it may become better by the pass of time, it has audience, people still watch it. Also, he makes a lot of parodies, most of them about videogames, it may be his vocation, who know? Maybe these are really funny. I will review them in the future, but for the moment I have other thing in mind.
L: Aitor, I have just remember something.
AM: What?
L: The Dr. Pandemia hasn't appeared in this ep.

The next long review will be by Pandemia, I mean, the next after "Battle of Gods" and the Christmas crossover.
*After the credits*
Dr.P: Mr. Molina... if you hadn't noticed, I'm in your head!

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